I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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