when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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