he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
