He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
