For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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