I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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