well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
