she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
