exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
