But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
