you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
