It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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