so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
