I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize