I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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