You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
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I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
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All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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