Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
