I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She needs sedatives and a leash
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
