There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
