Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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