I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
