Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
