Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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