Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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