I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
