his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
