someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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