Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
