how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
