awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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