Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize