I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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