Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
this will be a night to untag.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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