Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
