Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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