I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
