dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
