He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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