what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
