No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize