what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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