thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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