pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
