Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
