I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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