i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.