I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.