So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...