My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
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Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?