how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
