I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize