Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
