I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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