I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
