I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
