just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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