You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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