dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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