wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize