This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
